BILL HICKS HALL OF FAME
watch out if u have epilepsy for when u click the fucking page it does a fireworks thing ill maybe fix it someday

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

THE DAY IS OVERRETURN TO SLEEP, I'LLDREAM ABOUTTHE SHEEPLE

(inspired by Tool)

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Ooooo I love my wife! Love my wife! ACK!Let's go ride a biiiiiike! With my wife, ACK!

Hey, I had a dream last night that I went to Vietnam. I was like, oh my God, where am I? I'm so far away from home! The tourist guide was trafficking me around in a little bus before I hopped out onto ancient ruins and begged some civilians for help. Well, we all flew away on some legendary Pokemon, back to America. Then a black Rayquaza showed up. It wasn't friendly! Good thing I woke up before it killed us all.Back in the Vietnamese theater I came from, though, there were enemies. Not the people, I mean; totally separate entities. Well, the creatures might've been enlisted by the theater's owner to kill me, but anyway: one of them, you had to swivel to face it, as it manifested around you. You'd turn in a sort of sentry motion back and forth, across the hall, or it'd attack you with its paddle-sized, long-fingered hands. It had a pale, plastic face, and a spindly black body, standing at about my own height.I think that'd be a cool enemy mechanic in a video game, similar to Specimen 6 from Spooky's House of Jumpscares, but it might also give you vertigo trying to spin around and look at the thing AND walk around. Hey, we workshop these things.

They always told me I was a smart kid. Smart kid, smart worker; shoud've been easy. Should've, oops.Speaking of, I barely pronounce the 'l' in should. Are you supposed to? When I try and sound it out, I over-emphasize and say "shoe-ull'd". I can't tell if it's completely silent, or if you use the 'l' as a gentle springboard into 'd'. Maybe I shoudn't think about it.Could is worse. At least shoe-ull'd sounds like some posh, medieval pronunciation of should. It could feasibly be said in some universe. 'Coo-ulled' doesn't fly. Again, it needs that soft bounce from 'l' to 'd'. You might say, 'could,' with the l sort of rolling into the d as you get to that 'ull' sound.No, that just sounds like 'cool'd'. You silently make the 'l' motion, that's it. If you want, you can just barely start to say 'l' as you transition into 'd', but it's a lot easier to keep the 'l' completely silent. Same with should, but I think you can get away with more 'l' in 'should'. The 'shhh' shound takes up most of your emphasis.Anyways, it should've been easy. I just had too much on my mind.